


Under the Full Moon

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade), Echosrevenge



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:35:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echosrevenge/pseuds/Echosrevenge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair have a strange relationship that causes problems when Naomi shows up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Full Moon

"Blair."

"Uh huh."

Jim smiled fondly and shook his head. "I wasn't asking a question yet, Chief."

"Oh," Blair said and then looked up from what he was reading. "Right, sorry Jim. I was just…"

"Just reading something weird and spooky that completely enraptured you?" Jim finished his sentence for him with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually, this…" Blair waved the tattered piece of paper in question in the air. "This is a postcard from my mother."

"I said weird and spooky," Jim quipped.

"Are you calling my mother weird and spooky, Jim?" Blair laughed.

Jim gave Blair a mock wounded look. "Me? No. Of course not. I would never call your mother spooky."

"Hey!" Blair laughed. "Naomi isn't weird." At Jim's disbelieving look, Blair started to laugh harder.. "Okay… okay… not *that* weird."

"Uh huh," Jim smiled and nodded. "If you want to live in a world of make believe."

"I have proof!" Blair said, dangling the post card between his fingers..

"And what would that proof be, oh guru of all things weird?" Jim snatched the postcard out of Blair's fingers. His eyes scanned the words quickly and he groaned. "I don't know how she managed to ramble on a postcard, maybe weirdness is genetic. I don't see anything that proves her normalcy."

"Says there she been in the same village for a year, Jim," Blair said as if that explained everything.

"Yeah, and?"

"And… a year, Jim! A whole fucking year!"

"Watch your language," Jim said, his own smile increasing. It was good to see Blair smiling like this. No matter how much he denied it, it hurt him when his mother didn't contact him. At least she'd bothered to send a postcard this time. "Is that the same mouth you use to kiss said mother?"

"Yes, asshole," Blair snorted. "But don't you get it, Jim? She stayed in the place for over twelve months!"

"Twelve months is generally a year," Jim agreed patiently, used to Blair's rants by now.

"She hasn't stayed in the same place for a year since she ran away from home as a teenager. Maybe ten months, but never twelve... we'd always leave before a year came around. She was always restless like she was looking for something… or someone. Whatever she was looking for, she must have found it there."

"And that makes you happy."

"Yeah," Blair said wistfully. "I just want her to be happy." He left it unsaid that he wanted her to be as happy as he was, but he wasn't as happy as he could be.

"We all want our loved ones to be happy, Chief," Jim said and clapped Blair on the back.

"Yeah," Blair agreed, hoping he kept the sadness out of his voice.

"Hey now," Jim chucked Blair under the chin. "Don't getting all depressed on me. Don't worry, be happy."

Blair groaned and rolled his eyes. "Asshole."

"That's twice now you've noticed," Jim said, his smile returning. "I do try."

"Well, asshole," Blair said, grabbing the postcard back from Jim. "Why don't you start supper? It's your turn."

"Pizza it is."

"Jim…" Blair said in a warning tone.

Jim flashed Blair a toothy grin, on his way into the kitchen and slipped his apron on. "Just joking, Chief. I'm making casserole."

"Use the eggplant I bought," Blair added, giving the postcard one last look and then tossing it onto the table stacked high with books and papers.

"Eggplant tastes funny," Jim complained, nevertheless taking it obligingly out of the fridge.

"It's good for you," Blair noted. "And eggplant really doesn't have a taste… it'll absorb the taste of whatever you put it with. Which, if you consider cultures that embrace vegetarianism…"

"Adding the eggplant, Chief. Gotcha." Jim cut Blair off and only making a little grimace, he started to prepare the eggplant.

"Thank you, Jim," Blair said, smiling to himself.

The entire scene was so domestic. It was like they were an old married couple. They functioned like a well-oiled machine at home and there was certainly enough good-natured bickering. Jim certainly touched him enough, but not in the way most people assumed. Jim simply used Blair to ground his senses. And then there was the fact that Blair still slept in his own room. Alone. He glanced up at the calendar, noting the date. Okay, maybe not alone for too much longer. It was just about time. A small shiver went down his spine at the thought of what was coming. The sad thing was, he wasn't sure which emotion was dominating anymore. Anticipation? Or apprehension?

 

It started about exactly three days before the full moon crested every month. It happened the same way every month since the very first month Blair moved into the loft, but they never talked about it. Blair had tried to bring it up once after the first time, but Jim just dismissed it with an angry phrase Blair would always remember, "I'm not a fag… it's just a fucking Sentinel thing."

Oh, it was definitely a fucking Sentinel thing. How else did you explain uber macho, all American heterosexual male Jim Ellison laying out his roommate on the kitchen table and fucking his brains out? And not just the kitchen table, it happened in Blair's room, the bathroom and ended when Jim dragged him upstairs for another round on the evening of the third night. All of this happened during the first full moon three weeks after Blair moved in.

Blair had taken the arrangements as the new status quo when he'd woken up in Jim's bed the morning after the full moon. Thinking things could only get better with time, he tried to wake Jim up with a kiss. He'd really thought back then that the whole Sentinel thing was only temporary and that he'd have his doctorate done in under six months. He didn't believe Jim loved him, no one ever did, but that didn't mean they couldn't have some mutual fun in the process. Jim had pushed him away abruptly and hissed, "Only fags kiss. Get outta my bed, Sandburg." Blair had scurried away from the bed and they didn't talk about what had happened.

Things went "normally" until the next month, three days before the full moon. It was like Jim was two different people. Most of the time Jim was Blair's friend, and an affectionate one at that, always touching him, but in a clearly "platonic" way. But it didn't take Blair long to figure out when the "other Jim" was about ready to come out to play. As the moon grew closer to becoming fuller, Jim would start acting weird. He'd start touching Blair more and sometimes sniff him. After months of living together, it became routine that three days before the full moon, Jim would expect sex anyplace, anywhere he wanted until the full moon crested. Then Blair would start sleeping in his own bed and they'd both chase after women again to appease Jim's homophobia.

When things were normal, Blair didn't think about what happened. They not only didn't talk about it, but he didn't record it for his dissertation. It was as if ignoring it made it invisible. After all, they lived the majority of their lives as best friends and this arrangement was only a small part of the whole Sentinel-Guide experience. A minority of their life that best forgotten until he was forced to live through it again. Even the morning after the full moon, Jim would act as if nothing had happened and the only possible concession was he usually cooked Blair his favourite breakfast. Blair would eat and chatter happily to try and lessen the haunted look in Jim's eyes. He only cried in the shower when he was alone.

That was almost a year ago. He really shouldn't complain. He got more sex than many married people and it wasn't that Jim wasn't affectionate, just not during sex. And he was never too rough, insistent yes, but never enough to hurt Blair.

He supposed that was why he found himself bent over the kitchen yet again with Jim grunting over him. Jim was in the habit of grabbing Blair once they walked in the front door and bending him over the nearest flat surface, which happened to be the kitchen table. This time Blair had wordlessly handed over the lube he carried in his pocket during this time of the month and Jim went to town.

Jim was getting close to the edge and pounding into Blair, hitting his prostate with every stroke. One of the reasons Blair let this arrangement continue was simply because Jim satisfied him every time, or that was what Blair told himself. He really was convinced it was a Sentinel imperative because Jim was tortured about this, but still needed it. Jim needed him as Guide and this was obviously one of the duties a Guide had to perform.

Blair started to howl and grasp the table as he felt Jim reach around to pump his cock. He was lost in waves of orgasm when the front door burst open. In their haste to start fucking they had forgotten turn the deadbolts.

"JIM!" Blair's howls of delight turned into ones of terror as a large figure barrelled into the room and had a gun against Jim's head in a manner of seconds.

Jim pressed Blair against the table trying to cover his Guide's body with his own when the stranger hissed, "Move and I'll kill you."

Then there was a woman shrieking, "Get him off my baby!"

// Baby? // "MOM?" Blair yelled.

The man behind them roughly pulled Jim away from Blair, separating them quickly enough that he winced. The man continued to hold a gun to Jim's head and Naomi was rushing over to the table, trying to lay hands on Blair. Blair would have none of it and pushed her away. Turning he pulled up his pants and exchanged quick glances with Jim.

"Put the gun down!" Blair hissed. The guy holding Jim back was older than him, but bigger.

"He was hurting you, Blair, honey," Naomi cried out. She was clearly hysterical.

"No he wasn't."

"You were screaming," she insisted.

"He was fucking me!" Blair spat.

Naomi started to cry and Blair turned back to Jim in disgust. There was something seriously wrong. The two men were starting to growl at each other. They were both just frozen there, faces drawn into masks.

"He's a Sentinel, Jim!" Blair cried out understanding crashing inwards. His mother had brought another Sentinel into their home.

"You come into my territory and threaten my Guide," Jim said in a low voice. "I should kill you."

"She insisted you were hurting her child," the big man said back. The gun in his hand was slowly taken away from Jim's temple. They were involved in some age-old Sentinel sacrament that came from the genetic level. They were sizing each other up deciding where or not there would be combat.

"Why shouldn't I kill you?" Jim growled.

"I was in the wrong," the big man acknowledged, the gun being completely removed from the vicinity of Jim's head.

Jim was out of the man's attack zone in a matter of second and pulling Blair behind him. He did up his pants with one hand and his eyes kept steadily on his enemy. "Put the gun on the ground and kick it to me."

"No…" Naomi whimpered.

"Naomi, enough!" the big man shouted at her. He carefully set the gun on the ground and kicked it over to Jim who picked it up to hold on the intruders.

"Who are you?" Jim demanded, cocking the .45.

"He's with me," Naomi said. Tears were now streaming down her face. "We came to visit Blair and we heard him cry out in the hallway…"

Jim turned on the other Sentinel and hissed, "If you had listened you should have known it wasn't rape."

"Hearing isn't one of my gifts," the big man admitted.

"You *are* inferior then," Jim sneered.

Blair was taking all of this in. His hand was on Jim's back, trying to soothe the other man. Obviously, this other Sentinel wasn't as gifted as Jim. Maybe that was one of the reasons he'd backed down without bloodshed. Whatever the reason, it was best to get them out of the loft. "I want you to leave."

"Blair, honey, this was all a big mistake," Naomi desperately tried to reason with her son.

"You have no idea, *mother*," Blair said the title like it was swear word.

"I just wanted to share my happiness with you," Naomi continued to cry as she pleaded with her son. "You have a new step-father."

That completely knocked he wind out of Blair. Naomi had always been against marriage and had been lectured his entire life on the evils of the institution. She hadn't even been able to name who his father was. "You're married?" he gasped.

"Yes!" Naomi smiled shakily.

"To him?"

"Yes, isn't he wonderful?" Naomi turned to the big man now standing behind her.

"He tried to kill Jim," Blair said in disbelief.

"Well, in all fairness, he thought Jim was raping you…"

"He wasn't raping me!"

"But you sounded dreadful," Naomi continued to argue. "He was only doing what I asked him to."

"You asked him to kill, Jim?"

"No, no… we didn't know it was Jim."

"Just shut up, Naomi," Blair spat. "Take him and get outta here before I set Jim loose on you or call the cops."

"You shouldn't talk to your mother like that," the big man spoke up.

Blair moved out from behind Jim as much as his Sentinel would let him. "Who the hell are you?" Blair demanded.

"I'm your new step-father," the big man deadpanned.

Blair could barely control himself. He really wanted to beat the crap out of this guy. "Yeah, and?"

"You want a quick explanation? Fine. I'm a Sentinel from a rather obscure island in the South Pacific. You're mother is my new wife and Guide. My name's Bob."

"Bob?" Blair glared at him in disbelief.

"Yep, Bob."

"Well, *Bob* you're definitely just proven yourself a liar. There's no fucking way my mother is a Guide. She's too damn selfish to start with."

"I didn't say she was *good* Guide," Bob laughed.

"Jim, I want them outta our place," Blair demanded.

"Is there any chance that if I throw you out now that you wouldn't come back?" Jim asked Bob in a monotone voice.

"Sorry, we've traveled to long just to walk away without our business satisfied."

"What business do you have with my Guide?" Jim demanded.

"I wanted to meet him," Bob said simply.

"And?" Jim knew that wasn't just it. He was a Sentinel and could tell when someone else was lying. The other Sentinel should know that.

"And… Naomi wouldn't stop nagging until I brought her here," Bob admitted.

"Well, Blair doesn't want you here and I don't want you here right now either. If Naomi's a Guide she should know now's not a good time to be here. Maybe next week when things are back to normal," Jim ground out.

"Jim, is it?" Bob started. "I don't have time to sit around and wait. I have a resort at home to run and it was hard enough getting time off for this visit."

Jim didn't answer, but one look at his twitching jaw let Blair know something had to give soon. Turning his head to the side so Bob could not read his lips he whispered to Jim, "Jim, can I go to dinner with them in a few hours? I won't stay away long and this way they will leave now and we can finish up?"

Jim's hand went out and lay on Blair's shoulder blade, his fingers twitching nervously. "I don't want you alone with him."

"Blair, he's your step father," Naomi said. "Just let us put our bags in the spare bedroom and I'll make us all dinner and you can tell me why I hadn't heard that you and Jim were together." She ignored the warning looks from the three men in the room as she continued. "We can only stay a few days and I want you to get to know your new father without all this aggression."

For once Blair was speechless thinking about explaining his and Jim's 'relationship' and the fact that he was still living in the second bedroom.

"Mom… Jim and I have a complicated… arrangement," Blair rambled. "And he's not my father. You don't even *know* who my biological father is. So what's wrong with a hotel? There's lots of nice hotels in Cascade."

Jim could smell Blair's fear as he tried to explain things to his mother. He didn't really want to admit what was going on between him and Blair once a month to himself and sure as hell didn't want to talk about it with another Sentinel or Blair's mother. "We're not talking about this," Jim was almost yelling. "Bob, get your Guide out of here right now. You can call back in a few hours and see if you can come over then."

He was dragging an upset Blair toward the stairs as he talked and not really paining attention to the sudden look of comprehension on Bob's face or the glare on Naomi's.

Naomi was on her way to storm after Blair, but Bob held her back. "Not now, woman. We'll phone in a few hours."

"But…"

"No buts," Bob cut her off. "I doubt you want to be around to see what's going to happen."

Naomi moved her annoyed gaze from Bob to Jim. "Fine, we'll go to dinner, but we are coming back in exactly two hours and we *are* talking." Her gaze shifted over too Blair and softened. "You're okay aren't you, honey? If he's hurting you we can all leave right now."

Bob gave up and bodily dragged his wife out of the loft. He'd seen Blair grimace a little as Jim's hands tightened on his arms when Naomi threatened to take him away. If they didn't leave now she was either going to get attacked by Jim or goad him into hurting Blair.

It was only when the door slammed shut that Jim was able to relax even marginally. His grip was still tight on Blair's arm as he pulled him towards the stairs. He knew what was happening. He was slipping into that mode when he wanted nothing more than to just fuck Blair until he could think straight again. "I didn't kill him because he's not like me," Jim grunted in an attempt to stay verbal.

Blair didn't answer. He was trying to keep from thinking at all. Even if his mom didn't realize just what was going on between him and Jim he was sure Bob did and somehow that made everything more embarrassing. He knew he was never going to talk about it, but, even if he wanted to, now was not the time.

He let his mind go blank. Everything other then his focus on Jim drifted away as he was pushed face down on the bed. He felt his hastily fastened pants undone and pulled back down. He was afraid if he thought too much he wouldn't get aroused enough and didn't want to find out what Jim would do if he thought Blair was rejecting him after all this.

Luckily, he was still stretched and lubed from their encounter in the kitchen. He could tell from Jim's grunts that this would be hard and fast. This time though, Jim's hands were all over his back and arms. The unexpected caresses chased away any other thoughts Blair might have had as he pushed back onto Jim and arched his chest off the bed.

He bit back a groan as Jim pushed in too fast, but the flash of pain faded fast. Blair wondered if Jim was just re-staking his claim or if he was actually worried he was upset. Jim seldom did much more then grab his hips and fuck him until he came. Blair always came first, with Jim following seconds behind.

It was almost a surreal moment that Jim could make him feel this wonderful and dirty at the same time. It wasn't making love, it never was… it was fucking. The relationship he had was a corruption… a sad joke of the traditional image of a loving relationship. Jim loved him, as a friend, but the frenzy with which he fucked him… it always made Blair think he assumed Blair hated this part of their Sentinel/Guide relationship as much as he did. Eyes closed, Blair started pushing back to meet each of Jim's thrusts. For once Jim's hands were not holding him still and Blair had a feeling that even if Jim didn't want to know Blair liked this, the Sentinel needed to feel his Guide wanting this.

With his movements, Blair was able to make sure Jim's cock slid along his prostrate just enough on each stroke. Far faster then normal he felt himself approaching the brink.

He always wondered how Jim survived what he felt. If his emotions were *this* strong, *this* overwhelming… then Jim's gift must make so much more. Even as he started to cum, his thoughts were completely centred around Jim.

As soon as Blair started to cum Jim's hands locked on his hip holding him still. One last deep thrust and Jim was pumping into him. Jim was tense and almost vibrating, but oh so still as he came. Blair knew his head was thrown back with his mouth clenched shut. A few times he had been able to see Jim in the bathroom mirror when Jim had him over the sink. Seconds later though, it was over and Jim was pulling out as fast as he could without hurting Blair. Blair got up and headed to the shower with a single glance at Jim's back where he now stood facing the wall.

Anyone of Blair’s lovers in the past would have joined in the shower. After sex, it was always nice to touch and comfort, but that didn't happen between them. Jim would be putting on his mask now, building the walls of denial up.

 

Blair was in the kitchen making a vegetable stir fry for lunch tomorrow as Jim showered and got rid of the last traces of what had just happened. He wasn't sure if he wished it had taken longer or not. Now they had ninety minutes to get ready for his mom to show back up, and Blair had to have something to keep him busy. Plus, this way if Jim didn't want to go out he'd have something to eat, but Blair doubted that Jim was leaving him alone with another Sentinel. It would be easier if Jim stayed home though, if just to keep Jim from getting upset when Naomi started talking about things she shouldn't.

Jim walked into the kitchen, buttoning up his polo shirt. "Hey Chief, that smells good. But I would've thought if you wanted to get the message across to your mother, you would've cooked a big, fat blue rare steak."

"Um, Jim, we're supposed to be going out to dinner with them. This is for tomorrow, or for you tonight if you don't want to come with us."

"Like I'd let you go out with them alone," Jim snorted. He walked up behind Blair and laid his hand on the younger man's hip, leaning in close and sniffing deeply into Blair's hair. "Smells good though."

Blair's breath hitched almost unnoticeably as he focused on the food. It was not like Jim to be this demonstrative after sex and on one level he was thinking that maybe another Sentinel around to provoke some jealousy was not a bad thing. He leaned back into Jim's hand for just a second, enjoying having him close before moving away and forcing his mind to focus on the upcoming meeting with his mother.

Jim kept his hand on Blair hip as he talked, his thumb dancing into the hem to rub against sensitive skin. "They'll be back soon."

"I'm kind of surprised they are not waiting outside the door. I can just tell she's dying to lay into me." Jim's thumb faltered for a second at hearing that. "Jim," Blair said as he turned around, "I know my mom's hard to take, but can you try to let me handle her tonight?"

"She wants to take you away from me," Jim said with a low growl, his hand tightening on Blair hip. Jim moved Blair away from the stove and pressed him against the cupboards.

"Not gonna happen, Big Guy. I'm not leaving you no matter what she says, but I'd like her to leave on speaking terms with me if it's possible." Blair said. He hugged Jim and leaned his head on Jim's chest as he talked.

"I'll be nice to Naomi, if you promise me one thing…"

Blair just nodded yes with his head still against Jim's chest.

Jim ran his hand through Blair's hair. "I want you to stay away from that… Bob. Stick close to me."

"Bob seems pretty happy with Naomi, he's probably giving her the same speech right now. I'll stay away from him though. You know he's not a threat to you, Jim."

"I know," Jim answered confidently. "That doesn't mean he has the right to sniff around you when you don't belong to him."

Deciding not to think about Jim's claim of ownership for the moment, Blair just burrowed into Jim's arms a little more and enjoyed being held for once. He knew the rest of the night was probably not going to be nearly as fun.

Jim started to nuzzle at Blair's neck, half kissing and then starting to suck. He was intent on leaving a public mark. He kept telling himself this wasn't kissing because he didn't kiss other men. This was about need and what he needed right now was to taste Blair's skin.

Blair gave up trying to figure out what was going through Jim mind, and tilted his head to the side. He was pretty sure he'd started to moan at least loud enough for Jim to hear. The feel of Jim's lips on his neck for the first time was too much and he slowly ground his jean clad erection against Jim's leg.

"Little slut…" Jim growled happily against Blair's skin.

Blair took advantage of Jim's momentary distraction to twist his head and capture Jim's mouth with a long, slow kiss.

Jim was caught up in the moment, his sense over whelmed by his Guide. He returned the kiss enthusiastically at first, but then his brain came back online. He let go of Blair abruptly, pushing away from the counter and spun around quickly. In his haste to get away as quickly as possible, his elbow connect soundly with Blair's face.

Blair stumbled back, one hand over what felt like a rapidly swelling black eye. He looked over at Jim, his heart sinking again. The tears forming in his eyes though were not from the accidental blow, but from the realization that Jim's closeness before was not about him. It was never about it. It was just about the Sentinel claiming his guide. The knock at the door pulled him out of his thoughts and his eyes off Jim's back.

Jim was breathing hard as he walked over to the fridge, ignoring the knocks on the door. He opened the freezer and dumped the ice cube tray onto the counter, catching a handful of cubes as they scattered. After placing them in a nearby dishtowel, he wordlessly handed it to Blair.

"Are you going to let them in, Jim, or do you want me too?" Blair asked. He was proud he kept his voice even as he put the towel of ice against his eye.

"I'm going to get rid of them," Jim muttered. He didn't have to ask if Blair was okay. He'd been exposed to enough injuries to know all his Guide would have is a large shiner.

"You're not getting rid of them! Naomi is my mother and she's going to at least get the chance to be okay with this." Blair marched over to the door radiating a very pissed off vibe.

"Don't open that door, Sandburg!" Jim shouted.

That was the comment that pushed Blair over the edge. He walked to the door talking just loud enough for Jim to hear him. "You know what, Jim? You don't own me. I stay here because I want to be here in spite the fucked up head games you play with me. Now be nice or stay here while I go out to dinner with my mom." He timed it so he stopped talking just as the door opened and Naomi stepped in, hoping Jim would keep his cool in front of other people.

Naomi took in Blair's pale complexion and the ice he was holding over his eye and squawked, "Blair, baby… what happened?" She ran to her son's side and started to check his injuries, pulling the towel away to see the damage.

"It's nothing, mom. I just had an accident earlier and was trying to ice it down before we went to dinner." He looked over at Bob and decided not talking was probably safest so he just gave him a quick nod in greeting. "Jim, are you coming to dinner with us?"

"An accident?" Naomi tsked and continued to fuss over her son, pulling him closer to Bob. "Next you'll be telling me you walked into a door knob. I *know* what happened!"

"He's fine," Jim ground out as he moved toward the door and placed himself directly between Bob and Blair. "Now, tell me where we are eating and we'll meet you there."

"You want me to leave my baby alone with you again? So what? So you can hit him again? I don't think so. Bob, do something!"

Bob looked at his Guide and then over at the Sentinel who was staring at him in a less then friendly way. "Naomi, Jim's not intentionally hurting Blair. Let's just meet them at the restaurant." Suddenly caught under Naomi's glare too he suggested the only compromise he could think of. "Why don't we stay here and order in? We can sit and talk and Jim will probably be more comfortable in his own territory."

"Fine, whatever… I'm not leaving my Blair alone with *him*," Naomi announced and pulled Blair into the living room and started to check for other injuries. That's when she found the dark hickey on Blair's neck. She pulled at his collar. "What in the hell is this?"

"Seeing as you're married, Naomi, you can probably figure it out. Now let go of Blair so he can order some food and the two of you sit down on the couch." Jim walked over and tugged Blair toward the phone, placing himself between him and their guests.

"Stop acting like a Neanderthal, she's my mother," Blair hissed to Jim. "And he's my… step-father…"

"No, he isn’t. He's not anything to you," Jim started walking toward Bob. "Blair, make some food or order some food, whatever. I don’t care. Talk to your mother. Whatever you need to do. Bob and I will be on the balcony until you're done."

Bob nodded at Naomi. "Remember what we talked about. We'll be outside until you two are done." He walked ahead of Jim out to the balcony and sat down when he heard the door close behind them.

"I'm only doing this so you'll get out of my home sooner rather than later," Jim growled, already pacing in the small space. He kept glancing through the door back at Blair. "You're not welcome in my territory."

"I'm not a threat to you, Jim. The only one who's a threat to your guide right now it you." He took a deep breath and continued. "If I could protect him I would, but he'd never survive being forced away from you. The only way he's going to survive is if you accept him or if you finish driving him away."

"What shit are you taking about? I accepted Sandburg a long time ago. He lives with me, doesn't he?"

"And that's all he does isn't it? I know what's going on here, Jim. You're using him and he knows it. You only touch him when your instincts force it and even then keep it as impersonal as possible. May as well just pay him once a month. I bet it couldn't make him feel anymore like a whore."

Jim was on Bob in a split second, slamming him against the side of the building. "What did you call him?"

"I didn't call him anything." Bob said while trying to breath. "He stays with you because he loves you in spite of how you treat him. You're the one treating him like a whore."

"You don't know what it's like!" Jim growled, thumping Bob against the bricks again. "You don't know what I feel… what I… what we go through…"

"Maybe I don't know exactly what you feel, but it's clear enough what Blair feels and what you're doing to him." Bob grabbed Jim's arms and pushed him back. "Now do you want to leave things the way they are and see how long Blair stays here? Or do you want to try talking to someone who knows more about Sentinels and Guides then either of you?"

"I still don't see how you *know* how things are around here."

"It's pretty obvious to see that's Blair's in love with you. He knows that you're meant to be his Sentinel, but you're rejecting him. You take just enough to keep yourself sane and if Blair was like you it might work, but he's not." Bob sighed, "Hell, it's obvious enough that Naomi has an idea of what's going on and she doesn't have the training I do."

"It only gets to be too much to handle once a month," Jim confessed. He was turned facing the cityscape, his hands now clenched on the railing. "Just before the full moon every month… I can't handle it anymore. I just *need* him and I can't help it."

"He's your Guide, his pheromones rise with the full moon and trigger your response automatically. You need him all the time, but he needs you, too. He needs to bond with his Sentinel and as long as you push him away he can't." Bob turned to look through the window at Blair. "I can't believe he stayed this long waiting for you to accept him. He has to be feeling the need to bond and the longer he stays here the worse the loneliness will be for him. He won't wait forever though. No matter how hard he tries the need will force him at some point."

"What are you talking about? His need?" Jim balked at Bob's explanation. "It's my fault. I'm the one who acts like an animal."

He always tried to forgot what he did, telling himself it was his fault for being a Sentinel. Telling himself the acts they did were nothing more than another part of this curse. He loved Blair, but kept that separate from the lust he felt for his Guide.

"He needs you even if you don't realize it. I can't tell you what to do, Jim, but think about it. Has Blair ever tried to make sex more then what you allow it? Was he turned on by your jealousy from having me here?" At Jim almost unnoticeable nod Bob continued. "He wants you and he doesn't want to be made to feel like a freak because he craves your touch all the time, not just once a month."

"But we're not fags," Jim protested.

"He's your Guide. It really doesn't matter if he's a man or a woman. Either you love him and are willing to accept him, or you need to let him move on and try to find another Sentinel. Wait too long though, and instinct will take him away. It's up to you, Jim."

"What are talking about instinct? Blair doesn't have any instincts! I'm the one who driven by his instincts. I'm the one who started it… I didn't give him a choice. He'd been here three weeks when I did it the first time…"

"If you're not going to listen to me then at least listen to Blair. Pay attention to what he wants and what you really want. After the way you've treated him god knows you don't deserve him, but he deserves to be happy. If you don't take care of him you deserve what you get when he leaves." Bob folded his arms and turned away from Jim to look out off the balcony.

"I do love him," Jim said after awhile. This man seemed to know what he was talking about. "I want to make him happy. So what you're saying is… Blair triggers whatever this is in me?"

"Yes, Blair wants you and the Guide wants you. Your Sentinel wants him, but do you want Blair?"

Jim squeezed his eyes shut. "You're talking like Incacha now," he muttered under his breath.

The two Sentinels were interrupted by Blair opening the door. "Guys, I think Naomi and I are done talking and you two have got to be cold out here." He turned around and headed back to the couch with Naomi, leaving the door open.

"Will you be able to control your wife?" Jim asked in a low tone before he went inside.

"She worries about her son, but she knows it's not her place to interfere with you and Blair. She doesn't like you though because she knows Blair is tearing himself apart over you. Even if you accept Blair it's going to take her a while to forgive you I'd guess."

"So that's a no," Jim sighed. "I never could control Blair. Like mother, like son. I can just *feel* both glaring at me in there. I never asked for another mother-in-law you know."

"And I would never have guessed I might have you as a son-in-law..."

"Are you coming in or not?" Naomi bellowed from the living room. "You're letting a draft in."

They walked in and Jim moved directly in front of Blair. He may have talked with Bob, but the man was not getting near Blair. "You two all done, Chief?"

"Not by a long shot," Blair said. "My mom wants to know why we sleep in separate bedrooms. I thought I'd wait for you to field that one."

Jim groaned and used one hand to massage his temple. "Sandburg, I am not discussing our sleeping arrangements with your mother."

"You'd better. I've never had a problem discussing sex with Blair," Naomi informed him with a scowl. "I walk in to find you fucking my son and it turns out you sleep in separate beds. Why?"

"Enough, Naomi," Bob said. "We talked about this and you agreed to just talk to Blair, not confront Jim."

"Really, Bob?" Naomi scoffed. "I remember you wanting me to agree to that. If you don't know what it's like to be married to a Sandburg yet, you're about to learn. I don't back down when it comes to my son."

"Blair has his own life. We aren't gay, but sometimes the Sentinel thing takes over. Now I've answered your question," Jim voice was quickly approaching a shout. "Now get the fuck out of my house!"

"So you're just a straight man who likes to fuck my son? I bet you aren't ever on the receiving end," Naomi yelled back. "And since when wasn't my son gay? Or at least bisexual?"

"Mom, just let it go," Blair said quietly. "I know he doesn't love me, but he needs me right now. I'll stay until he finds his true Guide." He gave a half-smile. "And Jim's not going to hurt me. This was just an accident that happened because I got too caught up in the moment."

Jim turned to Bob and said in a tense monotone voice. "Take your wife for a walk… a long walk. I need to talk to Blair *alone*."

Naomi was still complaining and demanding answers from Jim as she was literally dragged from the loft by her husband. Jim ignored her though as he stood in front of Blair staring at him.

"I would never replace you," Jim said immediately once the door was closed. "I need you."

"Jim, I told you I'm staying, but I'm not fooling myself any longer. You need me right now, and I think you actually like working with me. I'm not the Guide you want though, and when you find the right female guide you're not going to want me around. It's fine, I'll be fine, and I'll be here while you do need me."

"I don't want anyone else but you," Jim insisted. "I think I should tell you what Bob told me."

Blair held up his hand. "Stop, Jim. I got enough advice tonight from the happily married Guide. I don't need to hear what the happy fucking Sentinel said. They are gone and I'll tell them not to come back while we're together." Blair walked toward the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower now and going to bed," he said from the doorway. "You shouldn't need me until tomorrow anyway."

"Sandburg, stop!" Jim yelled out in a panic. "Do you want me to tell you I love you?"

"Jim, you don't have to lie to me. I know you're feeling jealous right now, but I can't take you being nice again just to push me away." The door closed behind him and the lock clicked into place, but Blair kept talking, knowing Jim could hear him. "Naomi, can be harsh, but she made me really think about us. I love you, Jim, but I am not going to expect you to love me. I'm just not good enough and the wrong gender on top of that for this to work long term."

Blair was talking about leaving. That was one message Jim heard in Blair's words. The other message was that Blair loved Jim. Jim stood outside the bathroom door and demanded in a dangerously low voice, "Open the door, Chief."

The water was already running, but Blair could still hear Jim. "Please, Jim, just leave me alone for a few minutes." Blair hoped Jim couldn't tell he was crying.

"If you don't let me in, I'll break the door down," Jim threatened.

"Goddamn it! Let me take a shower then you can talk to me or fuck me or whatever it is you want to do. Just leave me alone for ten minutes."

"No!" Jim shouted and took his shoulder the door, breaking the flimsy lock easily.

Once the door was open he saw Blair sitting on the floor next to the shower with his legs drawn up to his chest and a look of surprise on his face as he realized Jim had actually broken the door.

"I'm not going to let me drive you away," Jim growled. All of his instincts were on full alert and he *had* to be near Blair. He had to convince Blair to stay.

"Jim...." Blair's voice trailed off as he stood up, unsure what was left to say that would convince Jim he was staying.

"I *do* love you," Jim said. His eyes began to dilate and his breathing was getting deeper as he scented Blair.

"If you loved me you wouldn't be disgusted by me and what we do, and..." Blair's voice had been loud but then trailed off and got really quiet. "...and we would have bonded long ago."

"I didn't want to…" Jim said heart brokenly, even as inched towards Blair. "Everything I know says its wrong. I tried to fight it…"

"Just tell me what you want from me, Jim. You're confusing me and I don't want to scare you off again." Blair said listlessly, not looking up from the floor.

"What would it take to complete the bond?" Jim asked. "Would it stop hurting us both so much?"

"It's not something you can force, Jim. If you really wanted to bond it would start to happen, but you have to want it... want me." Blair looked up at Jim. "Bonds are usually permanent, and sooner or later people would figure out we were lovers."

Jim moved a little closer to Blair and risked reaching out to touch the love bite on his neck. "People might already know."

Blair leaned into the touch. "You know I want you, Jim. Do you want me?"

"Yes," Jim whispered it reverently. "I just don't show it very well. Maybe you should teach me?"

In the back of his mind he remembered some pycho-babble that he treated Blair the same way his father treated his mother just before she left. But he didn't hit Blair… Not true. The black eye was evidence that wasn't true anymore, even if it had been an accident. It was still an act of violence that could easily lead down the same road his parents had followed. That was one step down the path of evil Jim wasn't willing to take, but he had a feeling Blair would have stayed by his side no matter what.

"Would you have stayed with me if I hit you again?"

"You mean on purpose?" at Jim's nod Blair frowned for a moment. "I don't know, but probably if I had caused it, like I caused this, I wouldn't leave if it was my fault."

Jim hands went out and cupped Blair's face. "This wasn't your fault," Jim said forcefully. "This was all my fault. I should have been stronger. I should have resisted…"

Blair stepped back with a bitter chuckle. "You just don't get it man. That happened because you resisted me trying to make what we have more then fucking every full moon."

Jim swallowed thickly. "What would happen if I stopped resisting?"

"I don't know, but I was hoping maybe you'd find out you want me the same way I want you," Blair said.

"Tell me how much you want me…" Jim implored. He'd backed Blair against a wall and was covering his lover's body with his own, invading every inch of personal space.

Blair reached up and slowly pulled Jim's face to his own. "I want you, Jim. I want all of you, even the parts you won't let me see." Slowly, giving Jim every chance to pull away, Blair brought his face down to where he could kiss him. His lips feathered over Jim's lips before settling firmly over them.

Jim made a wounded sound and willed himself not to pull away. He made himself think that this wasn't just any man he was kissing… this was Blair. This was the person who made his life complete. In the months they've been fucking Blair had tried to kiss him twice, each time he'd reacted violently. But now he could appreciate the true delight of kissing Blair. With trepidation be began to kiss Blair back and even snaked his tongue out hesitantly.

Blair moaned quietly and opened his mouth meeting Jim's tongue with his own. This was what he had been missing for months now and after everything that had happened he just wanted to ground himself in Jim. He was not even aware of pulling Jim closer and moving against him as he focused on their first real kiss.

When they pulled away, they rested their foreheads together, panting for breath. "I liked that," Jim whispered.

"Me too, Jim," Blair said before lowering his head to start marking Jim's neck in almost the same spot he had been marked earlier.

Jim moved his head to allow Blair easier access. "I won't try and cover it up. Maybe wear a tank top to show it off…"

From the happy sounding moans Blair was making at that statement, and the hand that reached down to stroke him through his jeans, Jim figured Blair really liked that thought.

"Chief?" Jim groaned. He decided to trying to be more sensitive and this relationship thing, so he tried a new nickname he'd always called his girlfriends. "Baby?"

Blair's head snapped up so he could look at Jim. "Baby?" He stared at Jim, careful to keep his face blank as he spoke. "Do I look like one of those slutty women constantly flirting with you? I'm not a girl, Jim."

"I… I know," Jim faltered. "I just wanted to… be more sensitive."

Blair gave Jim a small smile. "I like 'Chief' just fine, Big Guy. Now what do you want to do? I don't want to move too fast and scare you off again."

"Already came twice today," Jim admitted. He was unsure if this was the right thing to say or not, but it was what he truly felt. "Maybe it shouldn't be about sex… maybe… maybe it should be about this bonding stuff?"

"You want to take a shower with me?" Blair asked running his hands along Jim's biceps.

"I could do that," Jim said, nodding stupidly. He could see now that all he had to do was listen and Blair would give him cues on how to handle this bonding thing.

The hot water was almost gone by the time they were done washing each other, but Blair had loved every minute of being able to touch and explore Jim. Even better was Jim touching him, face-to-face without Blair wondering if he was imagining being with someone else.

They were about to go out from the bathroom, when Jim focused his hearing into the living room. "They're back."

Blair banged his head against the wall. "I don't want to talk to them right now. I want you to take me to your bedroom and... and do whatever the hell you feel like."

"Our bed now. And she's talking about taking you back home with them," Jim scowled as he listened in and then he smiled. "I like Bob."

Blair snickered. "Now that you realize I don't have the hots for my step-father that is, Jim. Here, put on a robe." He waved Jim's objection away. "Jim, we're coming out of the bathroom together and they probably heard the shower running. Getting dressed for them is just going to waste time when they leave. Now let's get rid of them."

"Is there anyway you can convince Naomi that I'm not abusing you?" Jim asked and then amended. "Not hitting you at least?" He didn't like Naomi, but he didn't want to be at odds with her for the rest of her life.

"With time yeah, tonight I don't know. She didn't believe me when I spent ten minutes explaining to her earlier." Blair pulled Jim down for another kiss. "Don't worry about it. She'll get over it and I know you didn't mean to hit me." He let go of Jim and opened the door to the living room.

"I see you've kissed and made up," Bob said.

Jim fought down a blush at Bob's knowing smile. "Could we make this quick? Blair and I were just about to go to bed. Maybe we could talk tomorrow?" He fought to keep his face at least reasonably friendly under Naomi's glare.

"Tomorrow would be acceptable," Bob agreed. "Naomi would like to spend sometime with Blair. I believe as it's the weekend and we're in the United States… I believe according to your male bonding rituals, golfing is called for? That and I need to get my handicap down."

"Bob, I told you I was not leaving my baby here another night. If you didn't want to be here you shouldn't have followed me when I snuck out of the hotel." She turned to look at Blair, "Now get a change of clothes, honey, we're going back to the hotel."

"I'm not going anywhere, Mom," Blair said stubbornly. "How come now's the first time in your life your eager to take me with you? I won't let you ruin this just to ease your guilty conscious."

Jim pulled Blair back against him and wrapped his arms around him. "Blair's not going anywhere, Naomi. I've made some mistakes, but I never have and never will hit him on purpose. I'm trying to be polite here, but you had better stop threatening to take my Guide away."

"Or what, you'll hit me?" Naomi scoffed. "I may not have been the best mother, but I'm more settled now that I've found my Sentinel. Don't you understand Blair that the reason I left you so often was because I was looking for my Sentinel? You have to understand that?"

"Yeah, I understand, but you need to understand that I found my Sentinel, too. You wouldn't let someone talk you away from Bob and I'm not letting you take me away from Jim. Now we are going to bed. You're welcome so sit down here and listen in to make sure I'm okay, but don't make any noise."

Jim couldn't help it, but at least he tried to stifle his laugh. "In what universe?" he muttered under his breath.

Blair looked a Bob and nodded then started pulling Jim upstairs while Bob pulled Naomi too the door. "Bob, make sure she uses whatever key she used to get in here to lock the door behind you."

 

It was the eighteenth hole and Jim wondered how they'd managed to go the entire game without saying anything meaningful. Eighteen holes talking about golf made him want to put his clubs right back into storage again and leave them there indefinitely. It didn’t help that Simon had "accidentally" run into them on the course. That “accident” had Blair written all over it.

"Simon," Bob said as they made it to the green on the eighteenth hole, "I know Naomi and Blair were going to swing by the Farmer's Market and I'm sure she's already working on dinner." He paused to take his shot. "If Jim doesn't mind you should come back to the loft. She loves to have a big audience for her meals."

Okay, so they were going to talk about food now instead of golf. Thank god. Jim could handle food talk just as long as they didn't bring up Blair and Jim's relationship. "She'll probably cook tongue. It's Blair's favourite."

"Seeing as I'm single, I won't turn down a home cooked meal," Simon said, "but, Jim, you still owe me lunch if I beat you."

"You obviously haven't eaten Naomi's cooking yet," Bob laughed. "I've been trying to get her to let the resort chief cook more under the pretense of spoiling her."

"Let's get out of here," Jim said as soon as the last shot was taken. "We'll see you at the loft Simon."

"Getting used the in-laws being around?" Simon teased as they walked back to the parking lot.

Jim immediately flushed red at Simon's comment, but it was Bob who answered. "No, we're staying at a hotel in town. We're not too underfoot are we Jim?"

Jim groaned. He'd almost made it without them talking about his relationship with Blair. So close and yet…so far. He wanted to deny it, but then he remembered everything he had with Blair was on the line. "No, not too much."

"Well, at least Bob can play a decent game of golf," Simon said. "Joan's father couldn't stand it. In fact, all he did was sit and watch TV when they visited. Drove me nuts."

"He's not *really* my father-in-law," Jim said. Hopefully it was ambiguous enough to make Simon think and technically it wasn’t a lie. Jim and Blair weren't married… yet.

Bob glanced and Jim and decided to push the issue before they got to the truck. It was obvious that Simon had no problem with Jim and Blair being together. "If you say so, but you're going to be the one to explain to Naomi why she didn't get a mother's day gift from you. I'm not going to touch that one."

"Jim we're away from the office…" Simon started. "And with your lover's new step-father standing right there. It’s pretty hard to pretend I don't know about you guys anymore."

Jim stopped mid stride with keys halfway out of his pocket. "Anymore?" he choked out. It seemed they had decided to cram all the relationship talk into the walk back to the truck not the eighteen holes of golf.

"Oh please, Jim," Simon actually laughed. "Stop looking at me like a gaping fish out of water. You're two single men living alone and barely dating. You touch each other all the time, not to mention the fact that Carolyn said you were gay before she left."

"I'm not... well I wasn't... and we weren't..." Deciding retreat was suddenly a viable option, Jim sped up. He’d have to have a talk with his ex-wife. "We should get back so we're not late for dinner."

"I think you were and he was," Simon corrected Jim. "You also forget I had a few beers out on the course, Jim. I'll be driving home with you. That gives us lots of time to talk."

"Simon, you want me to follow Jim back to the loft in your car? Give you two a chance to talk?" Bob asked.

Simon tossed Bob his keys without a second thought. "Just remember to drive on the right side of the road. C'mon Jim."

"So, Jim," Simon said after a few minutes of absolute silence and watching Jim glare straight ahead at the road. "I take it you and Sandburg now are, even if you weren't before?"

"It's complicated," Jim mumbled. "We were… but, we weren’t."

"Regardless, Jim, there hasn't been any problems with the two of you since Blair has been consulting at the station, and I looked up the regs about three months ago. As a civilian he can continue to work with you so you don't have to keep hiding it to keep me out of an awkward situation."

So Simon wasn't going to give him an excuse to stay in the closet. "I didn't think I came off… gay."

"You didn't until I saw you with Sandburg. Don't worry Jim I've had months to get used to the idea... if you wanted to shock me you should have told me right after he moved in with you.. for a week."

"It was three weeks actually," Jim muttered to himself before he could catch himself, then he winced.

Seeing Jim start to blush again, Simon decided to cut him some slack. "So, Bob seems to be pretty cool. How's Blair’s mom taking to the idea of a cop son-in-law? From what he's said about her she doesn't seem to be a big fan of authority."

"You could say that again," Jim sighed. "Blair said if she'd met me before she'd met Bob, she would've been all over me. It doesn’t help, well, you should now before you see them together… Blair's more like his mother than we knew." Jim shook his head. "Naomi is Bob's Guide and, due to some stupidity on my part, thinks I'm a danger to her son. Having you there might tone her down... or she may be excited to have an audience. I can still drop you off at your house before I head to the loft if you want?"

"What kind of friend would I be if I abandoned you the whims of your evil mother-in-law?"

"Thanks, Simon. I think," Jim said then was silent for the rest of the trip to the loft. They both got out and waited for Bob to park Simon's car and join them before heading up stairs.

"Simon, could you do me a favour?" Jim asked before they went in. He was hoping to score Guide brownie points for telling Simon about their relationship, even though Simon had already known. "Do you think you could let Blair know… that well, you know?"

Bob leaned over, "Jim, just try giving him a kiss hello. Much more impact, and I'll even make sure I kiss Naomi at the same time to give you a moment of quiet for it."

"Should I have brought him something? I should have brought him something," Jim blurted out. He was suddenly nervously like he was on a first date. "Flowers? No. He got upset when I called him baby… flowers are for women. What do you buy for a man?"

"Jim, calm down," Simon said barely maintaining a straight face. "I'm sure he didn't expect you to get him something from the pro shop at the golf course." He kept quiet but when Jim stepped forward to unlock the door he grinned at Bob who looked about ready to burst himself.

"I could have gotten him golf balls," Jim muttered.

Jim walked into the apartment resolutely ignoring the chuckles his last comment had provoked. He walked over to Blair and with a quick look to make sure Bob was ready to distract Naomi, leaned over and gave Blair what was meant to be a quick kiss.

Blair had other intentions and grabbed Jim by the shirt, holding him firmly in place as he deepened the kiss. When Blair pulled away, Jim was actually sputtering. "Welcome home, honey."

Seeing Naomi's glare, Simon decided to move the rest of the way into the loft and head off whatever she was getting ready to say. "Seeing as the boys seem to have forgotten their manners, I'm Simon Banks, Jim's boss, and I'm guessing you're Naomi."

"Most of the staff at the resort have taken to calling me Mrs. Bob, but you can call me Naomi," she warmed up to the man's politeness immediately.

Blair looked over at Simon then back and Jim and smiled. "I didn't realize you were coming back with them Simon, but I'm glad you could come over." He slipped one arm around Jim's waist and turned back to Simon.

"Jim and I had a nice talk on the way back," Simon said. "Looks like congratulations are in order."

"Yes they are," Naomi said. "Blair and I had a long talk too and I've agreed to give Jim another chance."

Blair leaned in close and whispered to Jim, "It'll help that she's going to be in another hemisphere in a few days."

Jim pulled Blair a little closer. "So what's for dinner you two? As the only single man here, Simon was promised a home cooked meal?"


End file.
